Fizz

Is this TOO depraved? LOL

Posted by fizz on September 29, 2005 In reply to The big BoyChat fetish poll

those lines that lead down to a boy's groins. I have this fantasy notion that the more accentuated these are on a boy, the more sexual he is....does that count as a "fetish" or is that something else? Fizzzzzzzz

Fizz (brewing up to leave here for GOOD)

If I have got some things wrong about the 'new policies' and I have over reacted, I apologise.

For the benefit of my 'observers' (truthinpain). I have no intention whatsoever of engaging in any illegal activities with "R13" -I never did and never will. We have been very open and frank about 'BL' issues and are BOTH perfectly happy that our relationship is the way it is without a sexually element.
I am and will always be a 'celibate' BL but I can no longer tolerate the fear I experience that suspicion alone could put my personal safety in jeopardy.

Thankyou to all the friends I've come to know here, past and present.
Thankyou to the cogs for keeping this haven alive and kicking through hard times.
I've appreciated it to a degree that is hard to put into words.

We down
We gone

"Of course, SHARE the tent for god's sake!" he (the therapist) said as if it would be ridiculous if we didn't. I had told him of our closeness and it seemed to have his blessing despite the fact that I had also made him aware of my sexual attraction to "C".

We were reminiscing about the play and commenting on the quality of my picture taking. 'T' made an observation that I had taken rather a lot of pics. I explained that I do that because the 'law of averages' for an amateur photographer like me states that most will come out blurred or otherwise not very good. I also explained that the use of this hit-and-miss technique always gives me at least a 10% yield of absolutely fantastic pictures.

We were about to leave my computer and go downstairs to eat when he came out with the heartstopper:
"I think you fancy 'D'!"
"Why is that?" I asked.
"Because you took loads of pictures of him!" he replied.

Now 'D' was one of the leading kids in the production and he is VERY attractive; straight flame-red hair, beautiful blue eyes and a freckly little nose. Take it from me he IS a stunner and yes, I DO fancy him!!! 'T' caught me bang to rights. As it happens I had only taken nine pictures of him, out of a total of seventy six -most of which were actually of 'T', but I did make a comment along the way that I thought 'D' had a pretty face.

'T' is the sort of boy who will happily talk about other boys in ways that denote that he has no problem with tactility or softness with them. Similarly I have demonstrated many times to 'T' that there is no 'issue' with me around male/male appreciation and that I am equally approving of closeness he might feel toward other boys as well as girls. My 'pretty face' comment -therefore- shouldn't have been a big deal.

We are openly tactile with each other (not in the illegal sense) but he does kerb his tactility with me when there are strangers around so there is definitely some sort of awareness. Could it be that he is demonstrating a clear division between boy/boy attraction and man/boy attraction? Is he trying to tell me that it's ok for *him* to dabble with the concept of boy/boy homosexuality but any concept of ME being into boys is repugnant and wrong? If so, either way, is it 'learnt' or 'natural'?

What I'm picking up here is that he 'knows' there is something about me -he's very intelligent, but I don't think he fully understands sexuality/sexual orientations let alone the concept of 'BL'. He knows I care about him deeply, he may even suspect (or KNOW) I fancy him. I'm not planning to admit anything though -even if he fully confronts me there's too much at stake, I love him and am happy the way things are and wouldn't want to jeopardise anything.